Are You Being Served Grace and Favour - Retirement
by andrew.coleman.5099
Summary: This story deals with the series of Grace and Favour. Since there were only 12 episodes of it, I have created some more. It is based off of Are You Being Served. It includes all of the characters that were in Grace and Favour. In it they will continue to run their bed and breakfast and get themselves into more trouble. Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1 - Grace Brothers

"Sale, Miss Brahms."

"Yes Mrs. Slocumbe." She said with her heavy cockney accent.

Mrs. Slocumbe rang up the charges, "And don't worry madam, you'll find that the sleeves will ride up with wear." Miss Slocumbe said with practiced ease.

They gave the customer a smile and she headed for the lift. As soon as she was out of ear shot, they continued their conversation.

Mrs. Slocumbe got right down to her gossiping. "_Ough_, I can't believe we're closing up for the last time in less than three days."

"I know, I can't believe it me-self. Ya know, I can't wait until they close them doors for the last time. These sales is making this place into a right zoo." She sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes.

"I know, you know that last customer, she bought more under garments from me than I would normally sell in a week. If it weren't for the fact that we still make commission on the sales I'd be out that door. I've never been so tired in my life _and I am unanimous in that!_" said Mrs. Slocumbe as she closed her eyes and stuck her nose in the air.

There were more customers to attend to so their conversation had to wait.

A high, effeminate voice called you, "Captain Peacock, are you free?"

Captain Peacock looked around. All of the customers were busy browsing through the sales racks. "At the moment Mr. Humphries."

"Could you assist me on the counter, I've got a line that starts at the dressing rooms."

Mr. Spooner left the week before when he heard that the store was closing. He wasn't old enough or worked at Grace and Brothers long enough to receive a part of the pension plan. Since then, Mr. Humphries had to work the men's ready-wear suits department. No one held it against Mr. Spooner, but they would miss him.

"I suppose I could help you for the moment Mr. Humphries."

"Thank you Mr. Peacock." He said with a grin on his face.

After the line went down and they had a second to talk, Mr. Humphries said "I can't believe they're making us stay overtime tonight. My mothers going to have a fit when I get home."

"Well this is the busiest that Grace Brother has ever been, I'm not surprised that they want us to stay longer. I for one am looking forward to retirement and my well earned pension."

"Well, you've got a point there."

Mr. Harman was busy removing all of the mannequins from the floor. He wasn't included in the pension plan. They'd set something else up for the maintenance workers. At the moment he was taking apart a mannequin. Captain Peacock strode over to Mr. Harman.

"Mr. Harman," Captain Peacock used his officious floor-walkers voice, "This may be the last time I tell you this but please do not come on to the floor during the store hours!"

"I was asked by Mr. Rumbold to wrap all the dummies up and take 'em down in the lift." He paused to wrap the mannequin in a clear wrap. "Be lucky that I'm wrapping up these dummies an' not you lot… The way Miss Slocumbe's lookin' right now she could easily be mistaken for one." He said wryly.

Captain Peacock glared at him. "The way Miss Slocumbe looks has nothing to do with you being on the floor. Kindly take the mannequins and yourself off the floor before you wrap them. The less customers see of you the better!"

Mr. Harman dragged the mannequin off the floor. As soon as Captain Peacock turned around he blew him a raspberry. Captain Peacock looked outraged, but continued back to the men's counter to assist Mr. Humphries.

"_Ough_, I'm starving!" Mrs. Slocumbe whined.

"Me too. You shoulda' heard the way my stomach was making noises be'ind the counter."

"_I did_" Mrs. Slocumbe mumbled under her breath to Miss Brahms.

Captain Peacock and Mr. Humphries sat beside them. Mr. Humphries sighed, "You know, I was beginning to think of this place as a sort of home and all of you as part of my family." He lowered his voice. "I saw that tall, good-looking fellow from haberdashery this morning. He was sobbing his eyes out"

"Why?" asked Miss Brahms, "Is 'e gonna miss this place too?"

"No, he was sobbing because they found out he was skimming the till. I guess when you work in haberdashery you can fiddle with the numbers."

"Yeah, well he's been fiddlin' with that girl from the elevators for a long time too. Maybe he's just prone to fiddling'?" said Miss Brahms.

"_Ough_, it's always the lift girls that gets the fiddling. You know I was with him on the lift a few days ago and he didn't try anything." Mrs. Slocumbe sounded disappointed.

After their food and coffee was brought out to them, Mr. Rumbold stropped at their table. "Hello everyone, don't get up."

No one made a movement to; Mr. Rumbold seemed a little disappointed. "Yes, well… One of Young Mr. Graces solicitors, Mr. Thorpe, has asked if we could see him about the pensions. I was wondering if you would all come with me."

"But we just started in on our coffee. Can't 'e wait?" Asked Miss Brahms.

"Apparently not, he says he needs to discuss with us what's happened to the pension."

"HAPPENED?! _Ough_, I don't like the sounds of that! If Young Mister Grace lost our pensions I'll dig him up and give him a beating _and I am unanimous in that!_" Mrs. Slocumbe said as she looked at the others. They were all nodding their heads.

"I guess we better see what he wants!" snapped Captain Peacock. He drank the last of his coffee and got up. The rest of the department followed behind him.


	2. Chapter 2 - The Mansion

It was all explained to them. Their pension was tied up in an old bed and breakfast. Young Mr. Grace also included his attractive nurse, Miss Lovelock, in on the deal. After they got over the shock, they decided that it wasn't so bad. If they all moved into the manor they could make their pensions go further. This wasn't a problem for any of them.

Captain Peacock's wife had died a few years back of phenomena. He pretended to be sad for a while but everyone knew how liberated he actually felt. The last few months he'd really been giving the eye to Mr. Rumbold secretary. There's no word on whatever happened to her, oh well. Mr. Humphries lived with his mother. He was thrilled to death to have an excuse to leave her. She would always call to check in on him at the most inopportune times. Hew overbearing nature probably explained the why Mr. Humphries walked with such a swish. Miss Brahms lived alone, but she didn't seem to mind the move. She had been seeing a man that she wanted to break it off with; this would be the perfect excuse. Mrs. Slocumbe also lived alone except for her pussy, Mister Tiddles. She'd been married once upon a time, but there was no word on what ever became of Mr. Slocumbe. Mr. Rumbold's wife had also passed away, but unlike Captain Peacock he missed his wife. The move might do him some good. And then there was Ms. Lovelock. She was Young Mr. Graces nurse before he died. Some blamed his death on her. He died while scuba diving. Her bikini top popped off and he died immediately of a heart attack.

Mrs. Slocumbe could be heard telling anyone who would listen, "Imagine being flashed to death!"

"Well he probably saw the white light after getting the flash from Ms. Lovelock. Its hard to not go into a white light like hers." Mr. Humphries said, proud of his own little joke.

It was finally decided that they would all at least go out and look at the old manor. "But I'll have to make accommodations for my pussy. If they won't allow my pussy to come along I'll just stay where I am _and I am unanimous in that._"

One look is all it took to tell them that they were in their new home. The place was beautiful! It was out in the countryside with miles of old fashioned gardens and open fields.

Miss Brahms was the first to say anything, "Oh, its beau'iful! Look at them rose beds over there. You ain't gonna see them in the cities."

They all began to chat happily between them. They pulled onto the gravel path and unloaded their luggage from the car.

"Ough, I can't imagine Young Mr. Grace buying a place like this! Imagine staying the night here!" Mrs. Slocumbe was fussing with her cat carrier.

Mr. Humphries was as happy as can be, "I think it could be quite nice. Just think of all the strapping young stable hands and farmers."

"And why would we do that?" asked Captain Peacock.

Mr. Humphries was lost in thought, "What? I'm sorry; I was just having a nice little daydream."

They trouped across the grounds and into the front door. The front door was an impressive ten feet tall and made of old oak. There were stained glass windows, arches, beautiful woodwork and grand old stones. The front hall was stunning. Imagine any picture of English grandeur, this embodied all of them. On closer inspection the place was a little dusty and not that well kept, but there was defiantly potential. There were old upholstered chairs set into a conversational grouping near the staircase. In one of them sat Mr. Rumbold.

"Ah, there you all are. I'm glad to see you all again. So, what do you think of the place" He gestured with his arms to the hall around him.

"Well," began Captain Peacock "It may be a little premature to ask that seeing as we've just got here. Is there some place that we can put our luggage?"

"Ah, about that. Well it seems that the staff chose to resign after I laid down the laws."

"An what _exactly_ does that mean Mr. Rumbold?" asked Miss Brahms.

"It seems as though they didn't like my rules. I only told them that they would have to buckle down because this place would be run differently than what it has been in the past. I told them that their wages would have to be cut, they would be expected to work weekends, do overtime and increase their workload."

"Oh blimey, what'd they say to that?" said Miss Brahms. She already seemed to know what they would say to that.

"Well…. In no uncertain terms, they told me to … ummm … 'get stuffed'!" He said a little embarrassed.

"Well," exclaimed Captain Peacock, "I'm not surprised. If I were told that I would say the same sort of thing!"

Everyone nodded in unison. Mr. Rumbold seemed a little uncomfortable.

"So what you're saying," began Mrs. Slocumbe "Is that we have no staff in a house this size?! How are we going to manage? And who will take my luggage up? I hope you don't expect me to carry my pussy all the way up those stairs. She weighs a ton!"

"Well, we do still have two people here to help us; Maurice and Mavis Moulterd." Mr. Moulterd works on the farm and tends to the livestock that is kept on the property."

"Well let's get him over here then!" yelled Mrs. Slocumbe.

She went over to a large gong that was set beside the staircase. She grabbed the drum stick and repeatedly struck the gong loudly.

"Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!"

A husky voice was approaching. He had a heavy country accent. They could hear him pounding down the hallway.

He had a large bucket of water in his hands.

"There no fire!" Mrs. Slocumbe yelled.

"Then why you ring the fire alarm?!" His voice was angry and gravely.

"I didn't! I merely stuck the gong to get your attention! We need assistance with our bags!"

"Well the next time, don't ring the bell. That there is fer' emergencies like a fire!"

Mrs. Slocumbe rolled her eyes.

"Well at least he's very alert. If there were a fire he'd have been the first one to put it out. Mind you, he's not very firemen-like."

"_Ough_, I can tell this is going to be nothing but a headache." Murmured Mrs. Slocumbe. "Come on then, let's get up to our rooms."

It was clear that this mansion would be even more of a headache to run than the department store, Grace and Brothers would be.


End file.
